Time to Rethink What You Want to be When You Grow Up

You may or may not already be familiar with the story of how John Lennon responded when, as a child, he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. His response was simple and perfect: happy. His teacher countered by saying, “I don’t think you understood the question”. To which he responded right back, “I don’t think you do”.  His teacher's response perfectly captures the societal pressure to box ourselves into rigid career paths from a young age.  But what if happiness, growth, and evolution are the only true job descriptions we need?

The question 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?" is not only outdated but fundamentally flawed. It assumes a static sense of self. It assumes a single destination on a lifelong career journey. The reality, however, is far more dynamic.

The Rise of the Agile Self

The social contract has undergone a seismic shift. Loyalty has moved away from the collective good and towards individual self-preservation. This awakening – the realization that we're replaceable – coincides with a decline in shared identities. The identity of self has become the all-important question and topic of many conversations. However, our inherent tribal instincts haven't vanished. This confluence of factors – a weakened sense of belonging coupled with a primal need for connection – fuels the rise of the Agile Self. 

The average person changes careers nearly six times in their lifetime. In the tech industry, where change is the norm, this number is significantly higher (on average). This state of change reflects the changing nature of work itself. Automation, artificial intelligence, and the gig economy are blurring traditional career paths, demanding constant adaptation. While people tend to lean into upskilling, even more important for senior executives is the evolution of influence. Now more than ever is the time to lean into your authenticity. 

Even if you're not considering a career shift, chances are someone on your team is, perhaps multiple people are. Change is expected. 

Unraveling "Doing" vs. "Being" 

This is a theme I talk about a lot. The bigger problem with "what do you want to be when you grow up?" lies in the assumption that your career defines your identity. And for high-achievers, it mistakenly is. 

This conflates "doing" with "being."  

John Lennon, in his youthful wisdom, understood this distinction. His answer wasn't about a job title, but about a state of being – happiness.  Why does this matter? Because for high performers, the line between "doing" and "being" can become dangerously blurred. The relentless pursuit of achievement, the climb up the corporate ladder, can leave you asking a different question:

 "Is this all there is?"

The Adlerian Perspective: The Task of Life is Happiness

Alfred Adler, a German psychologist, argued that the fundamental task of life is not mastery or achievement, but the pursuit of happiness and belonging. His work fathered the now ubiquitous, and scientifically backed, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

He saw humans as inherently social creatures motivated by a sense of inferiority and a desire to contribute. In today's high-stress work environment, it's easy to lose sight of this essential truth. Tying your self-worth solely to accomplishments ("doing") creates a fragile sense of belonging, vulnerable to setbacks and burnout.

Tying your self-worth solely to accomplishments will always lead to an existential crisis. No matter who you are, there will come a day when you can’t perform to your expectations. Your body will give, your mind will be a little less sharp. When you tie your worth to outcomes you’re destined to fail eventually. 

Shattering the Status Quo: Reclaiming Your "Being"

Recently I had an executive who confessed a dream of becoming an interior designer. This is nothing new. Typically I hear, musician or artist - a creator of some type at the very core. 

So why are so many of us afraid to go after and feed our inner creator? Because we’ve been shamed into thinking it’s a fruitless exercise. I could write many more pages on this (and maybe will) at a later date.

The small (or even very big) spark we have to create exemplifies the courage it takes to break free from societal expectations and reclaim one's sense of "being." This isn't just about career changes; it's about embracing lifelong learning and exploration.

The future of work requires a new social contract. Creativity is and always will be what ultimately drives organizations, progress, and people forward. Individuals who break free from limiting career narratives and embrace their evolving sense of self will thrive in this dynamic landscape.

So, Let's Rewrite the Question

Instead of asking "what do you want to be," ask yourself: 

"What will make me happy and fulfilled?"  

Let this be your guiding light, not a rigid job title or societal expectation. Embrace change as an opportunity, not a threat. Tap into your intrinsic motivations, your desire to contribute and connect. Remember, happiness is not a destination, but a journey of continuous growth and self-discovery. And we should all strive to be “happy” when we grow up.